5 More potential Signs of LL

5 More potential Signs of LL

This list may not be as good as the original 10, but they could further be signs of a LL person. The opposite of most of these do not necessarily indicate HL, though.

a.) Bodily insecurities - It is a cliche that women have issues with various and sundry aspects of their bodies. There are also men who might have issues with certain parts. The trend with LL individuals is differentiated by the fact that they feel overly self-concious even with intimate partners to the point where being naked with the lights on becomes a hardship. Being looked at and ogled by members of the opposite sex becomes a source of distress and anxiety. Mini skirts, thongs, bikinis, see-thru lingerie... these are not staple clothing choices for individuals who are typically LL. I personally know of one LL woman who has "lost" over $100 in Victoria Secret gift cards because even their slippers are too risque.

b.) Defensiveness: Addressing someone who may have issues regarding sex as someone who may have issues regarding sex or referring to them as being LL will result in instant and staunch defensiveness. If someone accuses me of being either a homosexual or a homophobe, my first reaction is to laugh and joke about it. If someone calls ME a LL, I'm going to laugh. But this is not true for someone who truly has such issues. Remember the father/neighbor in American Beauty? He had a vociferous hatred and fear towards homosexuals and at the end we find out he had his own conflicts and issues. Our LL friends frequently have the least amount humor when it comes to the topic of sex.

c.) The Ewww Factor. I can't believe I left this one off! But individuals who are LL will frequently have issues with sights, sounds, smells, tastes and the feel of certain aspects of sex. Certain things will seem gross and disgusting and will therefore be out of bounds to the LL person. These sensory experiences will turn them off, repel them and they are repulsed at the very idea of bodily fluids; either others or their own. Men who won't go down on a woman because of the smell, women who won't swallow or won't even go down on a man because of smell or taste issues. Women or men who won't let their partners go down on them. This latter behavior could be because of the "Ewww Factor" or be because of body issues or both.

d.) OCD: In order to really enjoy sex, a body must be able to relax and enjoy it. Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, by their very nature, are driven by anxiety. A person who is high on the OCD spectrum will have a difficult time relaxing long enough to enjoy sex. Many sufferers of OCD have issues with cleanliness, which triggers the "Ewww Factor" as well as the anxieties about dirty sheets. Imagine trying to have a regular sex life with the main character on the detective show Monk.

e.) Rigidity in Thinking: This sort of goes along with the OCD, but is a bit different. Some of this is covered in the original Top 10 list, dealing with sexual positions and practices. I'm referring here to the entire topography of behaviors surrrounding sex as well as the thinking about sex. Getting a LL to change their thinking is extraordinarily difficult. This makes any negotiations challenging even when they are willing to discuss the topic. The idea that sex can be healthy, fun and good are difficult for the LL to think about and consider, let alone accept. A HL can be equally rigid in thinking that sex cures all, but the LL will have more bending to do, and generally have further to bend in order to change views on sex. Repressive backgrounds could play into this thinking, as in certain religious views that promote sexual repression. However, even nonreligious people are susceptible to rigid and dogmatic thinking. Holding on to irrational beliefs causes problems in behavior, believing that sex is only for procreation or that once a certain age, sex should stop or that certain sexual practices are out of bounds within marriage. This is not to criticize individual ethics and morals, as much as to point out that the woman or man who enticed us into the commitment often turns into something entirely different later, and they get frozen there. No amount of counseling, cajoling or bribery is going to move someone who is totally inflexible.

Let me know what you think.

D.